The week i spend bored

After finishing off a great 8 weeks of hard work spent on a project i passionate about and with people that are pretty much fantastic i ask my self one simple question. Why arnt i happy. Why am i still miserable and why do i find no joy in anything that i do.

So from these simply questions i also ask myself. Why is it that i should feel the need to suceed in what i choose if in the end i am still unhappy. Why do i tolerate the needs of others and place suffering upon myself if i am still unhappy. What is the point of becoming successful and in the long term well off and distinguished if in the end no joy comes my way.

From this it becomes more complex. There are other factors that i cant control and other problems that i cant forsee. Simple questions become hard questions and this inevitably makes for a change.

So whats changed?

Simple question but at the same time complex. I have changed, my needs have changed my desires have change and my place in this world has changed.

So where is the problem?

The problem is that now i dont know what to do. that i dont know where to go. That in the end everything i do and have done has been for nothing and that once i have gone, i will have made little to no difference to the place where i was and the people that i have touched.

I think its easier to follow them that have come before me. Easier to wait. But how long can i wait for? how long can anyone wait for?

What do i know?

I know i am waiting. I know i have things to do and i will know them when i see them. I know i can do anything. I know i am him and i know i have to do it alone.

The next problem is that once you know these things, what can i do to change the things i dont like in the things that i know?

and the answers are ...

that everything done in this world everything costs. One way or another you will pay for it. through sacrifice or through pain.

to gain one thing you must give up another. follow the balance and success will be yours.

eventually you will find choice, and from your optinos you will have to decide between two dominant options. From these two you can only ever choose one. For me i always choose both and once i fail i will receive one in full and another in half. my kind of cheating. but as i said earlier. you still have to pay for it somehow.

so once again what can i do to change the things i dont like in the things that i know?

nothing

this is fate

end of priciple photography

yay, after a gruelling 8 weeks of hard work and long h ours the final shot for gabriel was completed this morning around 5:30 am. Since i started work at 10am by the time the final shot was hapening i had passed out at some random corner. Congratulations to all on the shoot and for anyone involved you should be proud of your accomplishments and contribution to what will enevitably become a great film. I cant wait for the release next year. So untill then ill be having a week off and cruise into party mode and then, wham, straight back into it for post production where ill be a monkey for 6 months.

cheerios for everybody.

chesh

gabriel week 7

As it has been a while since i have posted on here it would most certainly suggest that i have been avery busy boy. The amount of work on gaberial has consumed every last minute of my life over the last 7 weeks and its been hard trying to find even a minute to get to a pc to make a post up here. since my last post i have attended the dressing of arc night club on tailor square to transform it into "spiral nightclub" which lilith runs. I got the chance to be a featured extra as a barman at the club deivering people their own sins. This experience has been a fantastic opportunity for me and ive really gotten into the whole thing. and hopefully i will be awarded a art director role at the end of it.

only one week left and ive just finished preping the rooftop for the final fight scene of the movie. We managed to get the last final touches transforming a average rooftop into a awesome one in less than 6 hours. very proud of the work and im getting a good rep from the work ive done and hopefully it will lead to more prosperous and enjoyable conections for the future.

need more sleep as usual and wont be long before i start on post production.

ahh watching lost series 2 and firefly, two great series.

chesh