mums bday

I woke up friday morning and had to rush to send off a cover letter and resume to pinhead at post modern sydney for a runner position. Its was while i was doing this that i had realised that it was september and mums bday was on the monday. I knew adam was heading to wagga for jules 21st and i really didnt want to head to wagga because i needed to save some cash for the next few weeks of filming i thought id be doing.

I finally got the pdf sent out to pins and then called joey and found out what was going on. Mum was working but we planned on having dinner sat night. I called adam organised a lift and everything was fine. I also called kylie and told her i was coming down and organised somewhere to stay. We left sydney around 8pm and after downing a kebab (bad choice) we headed to wagga. The kebab came back to haunt me and adam on the trip down but we made it in good time with enough for me to sneak into the vic before lockout.

I met up with kylie charlie and hannah down staris. Hannah had just had a break from her boyf so she had to get s few drinks, so kylie and charlie tried their best to get her drunken which didnt happen. They left me and kylie in the pub and we had a few drinks before being kicked out at 3.
Watched team America world police which was hilarious and had a pretty good time.

The nest day kylie had to go to a shoot and i had to organise stuff with my sister. She called early and told me mum had to work and that there was a filo party and that mum would head to that. Kylie was meant to have a party for all the people left in wagga but it all fell through so i invited her along with me and my sister and chi chi to the filo thingy. We had free beer and wine as well as food and met all the filos including che che whos come in from switzerland. They put on a video which had all us kids on it from when we were young. Including me in bright red track pants and a matching red jumper. Ahh the good ole days.

After it quieted down they cracked open the karaoke which i became accustomed to when i phillipines. I cant sing to save my own life but with a few beers its pretty fun. I was a bit bastardly and got kylie to sing by putting on queen with bohemian rhapsody. I knew she'd sing if i put that song on. Sorry babe ;}

We then headed out to jules 21st at the duke, stayed for a beer then headed to capital. They capital had a full house full which is new to me and wouldnt let anyone in. We waited and then realised they weren't gunna budge then headed to the red. Red was empty and ended up at the vic. Went upstairs and it was pretty quiet but there were about 20 ppl there. I quite enjoyed dancing up there when it wasnt packed and they played some songs i really like, even midas touch which no one has even heard of.

The other thing is i ran into little timmy the twin who i used to walk home from the bus stop when he was little. He 18 now of course and its good to see that they still remember me and that they were friendly and appreciated that i used to help them when they were younger. It made me feel good because i never really new if they remembered me or not.

Overall it was a good weekend and i spent alot of the time with kylie. My sister and her get along well which is strange and they seem to like each other. It was a shame thought that i didn't get to see mum considering thats why i went down there for. But i got to see the people i wanted to see and i loved spending sat with chi chi in town and at the party. Shes so gorgeous and such a happy little girl. My sister told me she left the party and forgot about me. She gets really shy when i see her because she misses me, but once she comes to me she doesn't want to let me go. After they left she realised she forgot me and was telling them to go back and get me. Lovely little girl.

a good weekend to balance out two ordinary weeks around it.

chesh

rearrangement of mental furniture

Been a bit poor lately and havent been eating much after spending all my cash last weekend and now i cant afford food. Oh well thats what happens and so ive been really tired and sleeping alot.

Ive also been doing alot of thinking about pretty much everything and wondering what i should do and who i should go and see to see whether i should get everything fixed upstairs if you know what i mean. But im afraid of what is going to happen. I hate going to those places and seeing htose people because i know theyre going to pump some crap drug into me and then ill be out for a few years. Id rather deal with it myself and have a clean mind than let them pump some wonder drug into me and all of a sudden ill be fixed. I don think thats the way to figure anything. It just takes time.

I awoke one morning around 4am and started thinking about everthing and came to a few realisations. Some thing someone said to me and its had a bit of a impact about myself. So from this i started writing a bio of my lifes events and alot of things that ive been through. Its amazing once you start writing that you kinda look at your life from a different perspective. Once you list everything and view it from the outside you can get a better glimpse of how things really are. I feel as iff ive been sitting in the dark for the last 15 or so years and that someones turned the light on. Some of it really does make sense now. Some of it i think ive been thinking for quite sometime now and its just confirming my suspicion.

I plan on giving copies of my bio to my closest of friends but even this is a breach of most defences ive put in place for myself. I really am worried about showing this to people. It will make me vulnerable but i think it will help people understand me more.

big week, lots of shit to deal with and right before i start my career.
i thought i had it all under control and then next thing i know i surrounded on all sides.

chesh

post jazz festival

Went to wagga last weekend for the jazz fesitval with Adam. He drove and had a job at the cop shop so i came along for a drive. Had dinner with the parents and joey now that shes moved back home to wagga with che che. Shes also in the process of taking over my room at my oldies place so there goes my ever trusty safe haven i keep resorting to when im up the shit. Pete and Joey also teamed up in me giving me the one two on what im doing with my life and how long im going to keep trying for my dream before i actually give up and realise its not gunna happen and that i should accept failure and just get a shitty job like them.

I pretty much spent the weekend with K and went out to the jazz festival up town. The tourist is great and its the first time ive seen all the renovations done. looks great. The music was good and ran into alot of old mates from wagga. Still know alot of people down there. Then walked to the red and drank and danced with K. Two gay dudes tried to pick me up which was disturbing and a 'over the red' feeling was with me the whole night companied with some nostalgia.

Sat night headed with K to clints gfs house mel had pre drinks wine and a good catch up chat. The headed down to the tourist without mel coz she had to work and checked out more bands.

After returning to sydney i found my computer infected with viruses and have spent all day reinstalling everything. But on a good note the meeting at DP went great and i am really excited about the film. Shooting starts in three weeks and ive got a job as vfx supervisor on set. So long 12 hr days 5 days a week and no pay, yay, i think im really gunna enjoy this.

chesh