"sitting in the morning sun, ill be sitting in the evening time

watching the ships roll in,
then i watch em roll away again

sitting on the dock of the bay watching the time roll away"

love this song

pretty much explains how im feeling right now. its amazing how little things can effects your quality of life and that once one goes bad they all snowball together and like cancer spread. The cancer i am referring to is people. people i have high hopes for. people letting me down is a constant in my life, which causes me to be sad. fuck. i can only think of a small handful who are actually there for me and that are actually honest and upfront.

Mix this a little with stress of work, not eating, getting smashed on alchy and drugs, not sleeping over working 4 seperate jobs, people letting me down, being successful and still having finacial difficulties, losing my phone in three weeks and the summer heat kicking all my hormones into a cyclonic frenzy. highs and lows of waving depression constantly sweeping through my body. being sick.

all this results in cheshmonkey snapping rabid like and the first person who pisses me off enough. fuck i have disowned alot of people this year. im not piss off with you people but your just fucked. im over it.

cheshmonkey