post k breakup

wow. it has been along time. well what to say. I have had quite a good four years since I have last written here and I suppose it goes to show you how bad a time I am having now because I am writing on here again.

I have tried with the greatest of my efforts to pursue the success of myself while at the same time have a loving relationship with the one that I love while being as true to myself as I could possibly be. In a way I have become very successful. Career wise I have accomplish many things that I thought could never be possible from someone of my stature, growing up where I did and under the conditions that I did while being surrounded by the folk that I did. Very few people truly understand what this means to me to have overcome this accomplishment.

Second most I have had the opportunity to be with the girl of my dreams, something that alot of people will never experience. Its like a moment in time, or a blink of the eye. I dont know how I got here to this place or how I can get myself back to where I used to be. I stop for only a moment to be haunted once again by memories or a dream that she will walk back into my life and forgive me for my imperfections.

Then I get sad, very sad, I want to cry but cant, then I get angry, that I have been left like this, angry that there i someone in the world that i care that much for and that i have opened myself up to and has that kind of power over me so that i can feel this much hurt. I look around and see my room, our room. my bed, our bed. i can still see her things piled in my room. I look on facebook and and reminded of a time when i was happier by those stupid photo pop ups on the right hand column, and once again i fall back into despair.

Fuck you world. fuck you, Why cant I stop this. why cant I just let this go and be free. be free of this torment. why. because i still fucking love her. fuck im an idiot. I had the world in my hands and I dropped it. now all I have is a hope. a small painful torturous hope. a date. a time. 2 years from now. 25th November 2012. its cruel in a way. cruel to make me suffer. but im a fool and I did it to myself. hanging on to a dream. a dream that I thought I could achieve. to do the impossible. to have that life that most people wish for. a happy marriage, a house, 2 kids, the perfect job. im sorry the world has other plans for me. other plans that I am not aware of.

So I am leaving, off to see what it is the world has for me. off to travel to new and exiting places. off to visit friends long lost. but really I am running away. I cant handle this life here. this shadow of a dream. so close, so close by. I cant stop my mind from dreaming about her while I sleep, or about wild fantasies about everyday normal stuff. so im leaving. and I dont care about all the small things I have accumulated, or any of the things that I have achieved, or about how, or where I will live and survive. but im leaving and not coming back. not for 2 years that is. and then I will roll the dice and see what the world has for me then.

al

alcohol free zone

Saturday me and the boys head back to the net cafe and play some more CS. we actually dont get there till late and then leave till around 12mid. oh shit its saturday lets go out drinking. lannignon meeting up with lorraien and the other cousins at paseo. so we all get ready and head to paseo only to get there and find out the girls have headed to autoshop and that theyre not selling any more liquor because of the election and theyres a total alcohol ban. Prevention of fights and murders during the lead up to the voting and the actual day itself. maybe even some form of anti corruption too.

So we taxi it across to autoshop where its pumping but they too have stopped selling liquor. so the 8 or us head in and for 100 peso get entry and two free drinks. yay! ice tea my shout! and we get ice tea and a few bottles of water. Then we meet up with the girls. they got 1 round of drinks in. we chat and dance and enjoy 5 whole songs and then. wammo! mmusic lights get the hell out of my club speech adn dont forget to sell you votes for 300 peso. then get your money and bring it back to the club and we will get you some drinks.

We leave and head to get some food. at least theyres no food ban. and we head to sinagag. This meat rice and egg place in lahug just down the road from where i live. The service was terrible. it is open 24 hrs a day and the guy serving me reminded me of mark for some reason. maybe because he looked angry. but he didn't wana be there and didnt'e want to serve us. So after our wait we finally get served and well. the food was good. i enjoyed it and sice i didnt eat dinner i had two meals. yeah pigging out. ha.

Wating to pay the bill and i hear some yelling. two guys are arguing over something. maybe a girl. my cousin says theyre part of the fraternity. then they start yelling louder and we all know where this is heading. pushing and shoving and then wham, one guy gets hit and all hell breaks loose. bout 10 gys smasking the crap out of each other. 2 on 1. 1 on 1. lots of smashing and violence. then they run and one gyu gets kicked up against a car adn another guy gets bottled. After they disperse the girls start yelling "i told you, i told you" and something in cebuano. luckily they kept the violecne to the street while we remainsed safe in the resturant.

week 1 review

ok so its hard to get to a damn computer for long enough to check my emails but a persistent blogger should always manage to get there especially when travelling. oh well. maybe im just having too much fun. oh will promise to get my photo and video links in too. damn its too much to do in one sitting.

i cant believe its been aweek already. ia m missing everyone back home. especially you k. its really hot. thursday was 39 deg and 100 precent humidity. damn and i was hung over as all hell.

so since last sunday, i think its been like this
sunday - autoshop

monday - billiards
we went out to this biliards hall with my ate me-ann and the boys of course, and then drank red horse and played billiards all night.

tuesday - we cant remember what we did
wednesday - we cant remeber and its only been three days

thursday - kareoke
so we were in the moo dfor a bit of singing and not really up for a big dance night and drinking. its the first time ive seen matel since i got here and she brought a friend along brian who was really nice. kinda reminded me of kong, not that he looked the same but i met him at a kareoke place and that he sounded the same too.

friday - pump
we went out to the new dance place that seemed to be full of karean tourists. oh and my crew. they played rnb rap adn snoop and akon and the likes. i recently discovered the panoramic picture mode on my camera and have been havigna ball with it but soon discovered its nearly impossible to take three straight photos ina club with the strobe flashign in each one for a perfect photo. oh well.

alfies came along and rabbi was already drunk because he had to battle his dad in a drinking game insead of comign and playing counterstike with us earlier on inthe day. but i was all good. it was leeuwens girlfriend "may's" bday and hell it was friday so we all wanted to go out and party big.

we met up after CS and then i watched the end of the variety showdown at the chapel, part of the fiesta that my uncle is hosting. there was dance groups like boys band style as well as a kids dance groups. then there were singing acts and inbetween them all were filo lady boys performign all kinds of acts usually extremely funny bagging out almost anything really. mainly sex adn girls who dress pretty. really kinda tasteless humour but really funny when a drag queen does it.

then funniest bit was this boy dance group of about 10 guys on stage and theyre doing this dance when my auntie gets up and starts dancign inthe middle of their formation and wriggling her bum at them. they didn't seem too happy. i think shes one of the crazy ones. or maybe drunk. or just really funny. seems really nice in the day time actually. yeah gotta love that almario blood

chesh

first sunday partying

so i slept most of the first night. i went and visited kj and started watching flags of our fathers about the americans on iwo jima, but fell asleep. and pretty much crashed the rest of the night.

sunday however was much more exciting. well i got a bit excited with shopping and stated getting all the things ive been holding out on. new phone new wallet shirt food food food. spiderman 3. kinda boring and yet action scenes were good but i can never take that nerdy dude from that 70's show as a serious venom. sorry but spidey you boring.

ok so went to spidey, you kinda pay for entry and can come in anytime and just watch the show through as many time as you want. weird.

so went out after wards to bar called autoshop. nothing got to do with cars but my cousin likes it. has pool tables. standard game here is 9 ball. sucky, and theres a kareoke place with lots of gays which we didn't go to and a dancefloor which had extrememly bright flashing strobe. hehehe. very drunk by this point and ready to crash. did i mention its hot. ooh yeah.

fiesta soon then boracay then manilla and bohol

Pre philos flight 2007

I decided to start my trip by having a farewell BBQ in which i made little to no effort in organiseing other than telling ppl along the way. Two reasons. i couldn't be bothered. ys i am slack, and the other because i didn't want a massive party because i had to be up at 4:30 to be at the airport. Yes a valid excuse but i had already planned on not sleeping at all that night anyway.

Got to the airpost around 5 which was right on time except for the fact that when i asked my mum when our flight was she said 8am, what she actually meant was it was at 10am and that we needed to be there by 8am, so we were a whole 5 hrs early. thanks mum

Anyway the whole thing was fine and i ended up sleeping 6 hrs of the trip anyway. the best way to travel. I have to admit flying around the plume of circulumbus clouds and multilayers of rain clouds on our way into manilla never ceases to amaze me. Also flying out of manilla and into cebu at night time with specatacular views of the city lit up by it street light and massive dark patches inbetween which i know to be slum areas is also a favourite.

Got into cebu and the amount of people at the standby for assistance is amazing. australia is a ghost town in comparison to the amount of jobs that exist. there is someone here to help you wiht every part of the journey for a few peso. whilst in aust no one would get off the couch for less that 15 bucks an hour.

oh and its hot. really hot.

ok so ive been pretty busy and have filled my life with alot of thingy that take up all my time. right now i work at the lab and am soo moving to the aartamon. Between kylie and work and fishbowl theres no time remaining. i work at sbs on sundays in online playing out the world game to air and the newshour. i play wii and muck around on my pc. Between myspace, youtube and hotmail i cant spend too much time in front of a computer before getting annoyed or my eyes start hurting and i get bored.

I have lost, heroes and deadwood to finish watching, and prison break, battlestar gallactica and trailor park boys as well as a whole catalogue of movies and tv shows i want to catch up on before im even close to ontop of that aspect of my life. Without even mentioning thebooks that i am not reading.

So what it really comes down to is a focus thing. I have to focus my efforts on a selection of things so right now i cant and dont put the effort into this blog that i should. so i will take a break from it even though i haven't maintained it for a while now untill i go to philippines which is only a month from now anyway. so untill i leave for the tropical climates i am officially offline (blogwise) untill then

cheers
chesh

rnd catch up post

so i have been hit with this ridiculous flu thingy going around and its a pain in the ass to say the least. Every one is sick and im at work and im going home early for rest.

Have managed to convert the noobz boys to risk and am proud to say have them addicted. You know when that game gets soo good that your no longer caring about continental bonuses or whether or not your going to win, your convincing one player to stab the other in the back. Lots of fun. heheh must go out an buy the classic original version me thinks.

Dinner party was pretty good on sat night but the fact i was in a bad mood and grumpy i ended up having a bad night overall.

Electrical storm was great and there are some nice photos popping up on everyones flickr and photo bucket sites. heores rocks and will lost please finish off after this series FFS.

Happy Birthday K

Happy Bday Kylie! Your a beautiful young woman and i am glad to celebrate your bday with you. And i hope for many more to come. Love you. xxo.

jan feb wrap chesh and scottie bday party

wow. its been a while. kinda been busy as you may well have noticed this is what happens when i get busy i tend to leave my blog in shambles and run down as i go off and party up hard.

January / Febuary has to be i'd say the best month of my life and most definitely better than the first golden age. it been quite filled with life experiences indeed.

The party went off with a blast. Not as big as newies but entertaining nonetheless. Joeal and the canb boys came up for a few drinks. thanks bros. Wouldn't have been the same without you. Sorry i didn't make it out to the cross. Bit to smashed on that french voddie of yours. hehehe :)

Alyssa made it up from canberra too and from the outlook i had a feeling her and scottie would hit it off extremely well. Aaah i hate being so right about things. Ok so now im bragging.

The sbs all star group made an appearance and lasting to all hours in the morning till we had the cops show up and the party came to an end when everyone eventually crashed out.

Happy Bday Scottie. The noobz boys are having a party year. hell yeah!